tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33783732011-07-28T19:38:24.439-06:00<b>What is this all about?</b> Well, it used to say something about 'the effects of a sabbatical on a British male'. But if you look at it, it's more of a set of rants about: booze, jellyfish, bacon, Thailand, Texas, wrestling, small Malaysian islands, bicycles, guns, sausages, and wanting to punch people on the London Underground. And I came back from the sabbatical. And then I retired. Sort of.Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comBlogger7191100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-91328238692018727572010-10-19T12:21:00.000-06:002010-10-19T12:21:03.116-06:00

I find blogger to be simple and intuitive, but lack the power of a real blog. Hence, it's off to wordpress land I go. Ron Malibu has moved to http://longpassage.com

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-84143427008766847912008-08-04T21:12:00.003-06:002008-08-04T22:03:56.059-06:00

I was excited when Spike called with an offer I couldn't refuse. This thing seldom happens to me, but when I was approached by Spike, this was the second time in two days. I was being invited to a free seminar about internet marketing, worth $100, and while attending, not only would I have free food, a free and informative seminar, but I would also get a free MP3 player. The day before, I was

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-60419589112763831562008-04-03T00:17:00.004-06:002008-04-03T01:16:11.857-06:00

He survived two winters in a concentration camp in Siberia after leaving home at the age of 15 to fight for his country.He was passionate and laughed constantly.He walked out of a concentration camp across Europe to freedom and to join the enemies of his oppressors (sounds a bit melodramatic, but better than walking across Europe to join the Allies)He avoided execution for his ideals close to his

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-68602155540675430662008-02-22T01:01:00.002-06:002008-02-22T01:05:19.387-06:00

But then again, to few to mention.Tonight I mixed things up a little. You know, when your routine becomes just that - a routine, and worse! you notice. That's when the creative gremlins get to work.Tonight we watched "You Kill Me" which could have easily been you like me. For me the premis is drinking. The Murdering comes second. I couldn't watch the film without 3 stiff drinks. Drinks that make

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-61409851844722270302007-09-03T09:31:00.000-06:002007-09-03T09:33:45.750-06:00

So I made this project for Burning Man 2006. It was a self-service mobile video kiosk called The Time Machine. Here are the burning man 2006 time machine videos.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1096584153088129882004-09-30T16:27:00.000-06:002004-09-30T16:47:48.910-06:00

Late 2003 Summer in London Leaving London Gaudy Punta Spain 2004 Snowboarding in france Coming to America Willhelm Reich and Zombie Burlesque Austin Pirate Rampage April Mont Blanc Cycling through france Berlin and the Big Chill Carping in England Prague Burning Man Old stuff A collection of old photos

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1090508144351194032004-07-22T08:48:00.000-06:002004-07-22T08:55:44.350-06:00

Ron is officially taking a well earned break from his retirement, after doing sufficient laps of the world in a drunken state to merit a breather. He won't be adding new blog entries here. Garreth continues to write some totally different things using livejournal, in a totally different style. Some of his writing is protected, but to view it, you only have to ask him to befriend you.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1086102998315837562004-06-01T09:10:00.000-06:002004-06-01T09:17:27.603-06:00

One of the things I hadn't realised about 'Burn Events' like Flipside was that the act of burning is considered an act of letting go. Some people take physical things that they want to let go. They commit them to a flamey destruction. One thing that everyone let go was a giant wooden monkey. That went up like a stick of dynamite when it's time came. Strangely the last of its six arms to crash

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1086052938430207432004-05-31T19:21:00.000-06:002004-05-31T19:37:04.180-06:00

Burning Flipside is an art festival at a pukka location in the Texas Hill Country. What can I say? It's flaming hot, things are burned, costumes are worn. Tenses are confused, verbs are conjugated and there's a creek to swim in to give relief from the merciless sun. Flipside has a new recruit in me. I had a better time than I imagined possible. My stick critter received critical acclaim, I

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085603974249410622004-05-26T14:34:00.000-06:002004-05-26T14:39:34.250-06:00

Strange times, and they are about to get stranger. Two days ago I agreed with a friend that we should not try to build last-minute flame throwers into our hobby horses. Yesterday I was taking a milkshake to someone who has pneumonia. I found myself wishing I had cup-holders in my car. A sure sign that I am getting more Septic by the day. Positively gangrenous. Today I was chatting to a

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085382778958598572004-05-24T01:09:00.000-06:002004-05-24T01:12:58.956-06:00

During Friday night's escapades, I found myself saying on a long, late night stroll, "Looks like I chose the wrong night to come out in swimming trunks and high heels." My feet are paying the price of wearing cut-off cowboy boots with no socks. The abrasion caused my feet to skip the blister stage and move straight to gouge and slash.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085369739555960602004-05-23T21:29:00.000-06:002004-05-23T21:35:39.556-06:00

Today we disarmed the monkey - this involved taking six, thirty foot long arms from the wooden sculpture with ropes, scaffolding, and the noon-day sun. I was first to arrive on the scene and scaled the monkey for some tranquility. I spent the next four hours up the monkey, helping to unbolt the arms from the shoulders. I was standing on the shoulders of giants. A giant monkey god called Hanuman

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085329990821986072004-05-23T10:31:00.000-06:002004-05-23T10:33:10.823-06:00

Pipe-cleaners. Have you ever bought a few bags of pipecleaners and just sat down and played with them? You can make structures, hats, animals, wireframe Elite spaceships, anything you like. They're great. Cheap too.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085042728055861592004-05-20T02:41:00.000-06:002004-05-20T02:45:28.056-06:00

I did this, blah blah blah, I did that. One day I was driving through Mighty Mighty Loughborough - the small town I went to school in. There were a few of us in the car, school chums, if you will. "I did that sculpture," said Jim, pointing at a large installation, as we drove down a street that I wasn't familiar with. I was even less familiar with the fact that Jim had been commissioned to

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085042214714737072004-05-20T02:21:00.000-06:002004-05-20T02:36:54.713-06:00

is that if you abide by them for long enough, it's great fun to break them. So here I go. Here are the blogs I read when I can. A tale of a perky student in the US . I've been following this one for ever. Think sassy, smart, occasionally goopy but always entertaining. A charming mother with a nice boyfriend. A more mature while at the same time reassuringly immature view of life, occasionally

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085041189520200172004-05-20T02:10:00.000-06:002004-05-20T02:19:49.520-06:00

I met someone the other day. I nodded hello and he asked me how I was today. The word 'today' alerted me to the fact that this might have been someone I had already met. I peered at him. Normally I am pretty good at remembering the faces of people I have met, if not their names. After some far-too-overt peering, my brain registered nothing. "Have we met?" was my way of saying, "Who the jumping

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085040598880423982004-05-20T02:03:00.000-06:002004-05-20T02:09:58.880-06:00

I met someone the other day who had Graves' Disease. She had previously been unsuccessfully treated with a double dose (20 milliCuries) of radiation. For three days she hadn't been allowed to be within ten feet of anything living. Everything she touched was contaminated. After using her lavatory she had to flush three times.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085040092186016642004-05-20T01:43:00.000-06:002004-05-20T02:01:32.186-06:00

The internet is evil and should be stamped out as soon as possible. That said, I see the BBC have made a nice weather map of the world out of war. It would be better if they could have coloured the conflicts according to casualties per square inch of CNN column coverage or something. Good old Britain. It almost makes me feel homesick when I learn of the evolution of the Gunpowder Plot. Many

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085038493738073432004-05-20T01:23:00.000-06:002004-05-20T01:34:53.736-06:00

R: "Hellloooooo." (my standard greeting if caller ID gives you away) D: "Hey Ron, it's Dennis. How are you?" R: "Good, good. How are you?" (always good good to repeat yourself) D: "I'm good, still in rehearsals." R: "I'm on top of a monkey at the moment. Kind of hard to explain." D: "I haven't checked my email this morning, and I wondered if we are still on for tonight?" R: "Yeah, sure..." K: "

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085035433844587312004-05-20T00:24:00.000-06:002004-05-20T00:43:53.843-06:00

If someone tries to sell you an AT&T phone, shoot them in the face. If you are driving and see a big red sign on a pole that says STOP, carrying on driving. They are a pain in the arse put up by big oil companies and car brake specialists to stimulate sales of their products. Go for breakfast with a local and watch them buttering English muffins. Smirk and make lewd comments. If you want to

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085005817756185992004-05-19T16:28:00.000-06:002004-05-19T16:30:17.756-06:00

Stuff like this is what clogs up the internet. Maybe there's some way of recycling on t'internet, so that it does collapse under the weight of "my favourite shapes are blue circles, and I am most like Benny out of Top Cat."

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1085005182986508652004-05-19T16:18:00.000-06:002004-05-19T16:19:42.986-06:00

A larger than average bird decided to evacuate its bowels above me today, deep in the heart of Texas. That means extra good luck for me. Bueno.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084976739049469242004-05-19T08:24:00.000-06:002004-05-19T08:25:39.050-06:00

First it was the size of the bird poops on my car that hacked me off. Now it's the size of the insects that feed on my legs.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084976463049109792004-05-19T07:47:00.000-06:002004-05-19T08:21:03.050-06:00

Just like Carl Lewis didn't show up for our 10k showdown, the word must have got out about me entering the sparring arena - no-one showed. A little disappointed, I joined the regular boxing class. I got to do some defense work with one girl - about five feet tall, but weighing far more than me. She's lost 80lbs in 18 months through boxing, and has a fringe which covers her eyes so you can't see

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084912165787889622004-05-18T14:23:00.000-06:002004-05-18T14:29:25.786-06:00

I haven't bought myself a Porsche, not even one of those tricksie little twin-turbo nutcase ones. I am not having a mid-life crisis. That was so five years ago. I am however taking more risks. I looked in the mirror, and the words of Kenny Rogers sprang to mind, as they often do. I could tell I was holding aces. So I'm going to have a crack at full-on proper sparring tonight. I told Bruce about

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084910010267726302004-05-18T13:40:00.000-06:002004-05-18T13:53:30.266-06:00

She's reasonably well travelled for an American. She's spent time in both California and Texas. There is a higher percentage of Australians overseas than there are Americans with passports. For an American though, she's been around. I want the best for her. I think she should see more things, and go more places than I can take her to. It has been brief and packed with joy, and I know that we've

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084600320691111782004-05-14T23:43:00.000-06:002004-05-14T23:54:18.716-06:00

I was working away up high, wiring a monkey arm to receive its flamethrower, pondering the imminent and calculated destruction of something so worth. It reminded me of the K-Foundation burning one million smackers. Proper English money too, not these filthy septic tokens. A gentleman appeared below me and started talking to someone. I looked down, and his friendly face seemed familiar, but I

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084475527832761982004-05-13T13:03:00.000-06:002004-05-13T13:12:07.836-06:00

The Saab and I got home last night, and were spotted by a friend as we parked. He invited half of us over to his place where some other friends were. We watched many wondrous things, including some of the music videos of Michel Gondry. We then went on to watch a few episodes of Mr. Show. It made me pull a muscle in my neck through laughing too hard. I like laughing.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084472633821043832004-05-13T12:16:00.000-06:002004-05-13T12:34:31.536-06:00

In the rest of the world, I am English. In the US, I am British. I think Americans invented the "Rest of the World" for their marketing maps. I suppose being recognised as a Brit is a change from being labelled a Russian or Australian. Ah, the ex-colonies. How they have such quaint little sayings, they've done so well. I am now 'down' with something I am 'up for'. When I go 'hang out' with a '

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084463400908513782004-05-13T09:30:00.000-06:002004-05-13T09:50:00.906-06:00

A tall man phoned me yesterday, and told me he was working on the flamethrowers for the giant six-armed monkey effigy. I dropped what I was doing to go and help out. It didn't take long for me to drop what I was doing, as it was essentially a whole heap of nothing. I rushed over to Dave's house. Dave lives on the East side of town. In the olden days, the city planners guide of Austin had

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084338872109380242004-05-11T22:54:00.000-06:002004-05-11T23:14:32.110-06:00

The sun taught me a lesson yesterday, so today's walk was after sunset. The highlight of three hours of trudging was something I stumbled across by chance. I was busy crossing a bridge. The bridge was busy crossing the Colorado River. People were crowded around the edge of the bridge keeping their camera flashes busy. They would point, and in the gloom and flashes below the bridge, there would be

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084319573252107232004-05-11T17:43:00.000-06:002004-05-11T17:52:53.253-06:00

Living your life through lyrics is not as easy as it sounds. Saturday I'll go with "K", and Monday will become "HEB apple juice". I'm not sure whether to call Friday - "Blackthorn" or "Smirnoff". And what if I want to drink HEB apple juice on a Friday? I think the answer would be to drink certain things only on certain days. That means narrowing it down to seven drinks or less. How am I going

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084252073647415892004-05-10T22:18:00.000-06:002004-05-10T23:07:53.646-06:00

Monday nights see a group of Austin residents converge on a house in South Austin. Once the discussion group is convened, tea is shared, and individuals discuss their personal experiences about the topic of the week. The general theme of the group is spiritual development, and topics have included "Current Influences on Spiritual Path" and "Personal Experiences of god". There are many paths and

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1084149516271908262004-05-09T18:23:00.000-06:002004-05-09T18:38:36.270-06:00

After a hard Thursday of flame throwing and monkey making, I didn't pay too much attention to the message on my voicemail. I was pleased to have been invited to a Friday night party, but did the aural equivalent of skim reading on the other details. By Friday evening, after some 'chicken on crack' boxing my energy levels were too paltry for me to even dream about moving from my house. My phone

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1083965481957825612004-05-07T15:31:00.000-06:002004-05-07T15:35:50.310-06:00

Boxing classes have only got better since I started, three months ago. Bruce the gym owner has been putting people through their paces for many years. He is the proverbial brick outhouse - a foot shorter than me, 15 years older, and ten times as fit. He imparts wisdom to us as we train, and there are signs around the walls to help reinforce the message. "If you want to box, TRAIN, if you want

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1083645080248846142004-05-03T22:31:00.000-06:002004-05-03T22:35:22.810-06:00

Replace the adjective 'big' with 'big ass', as in: "Look at that big ass country we haven't invaded yet." "That chick's got a big ass ass."

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-108364396014602472004-05-03T22:12:00.000-06:002004-05-04T12:29:59.500-06:00

A few months ago, I had the dubious pleasure of picking up a car for a film production I was helping with. I was excited as I set off for the garage in my Saab. My Saab was jealous, and decided to eject one of its wing mirrors as we approached the garage, and I arrived with a tinkling of glass and less peripheral awareness than usual. The car I picked up made my pulse race. It was a '98

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1083302816882530572004-04-29T23:26:00.000-06:002004-04-29T23:32:26.763-06:00

I have almost moved out of my old house in Austin. For ten weeks, I have studiously ignored the enormous sign in the neighbouring church which advertises the local Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. I made it. Ten weeks wet. Ten weeks off the wagon. Ten weeks without a meeting. Do I get a sticker or something? It's almost the weekend, and I have collected no less than five bottles half-filled with

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1083129700709230222004-04-27T23:21:00.000-06:002004-04-27T23:25:55.873-06:00

I was packing my accumulation of materials together so that I could move out of my house today. Guy, my gun-toting, soon-to-be-ex-room-mate strode in with a friend. He introduced the friend as his future room-mate and I toyed with the idea of telling future room-mate that Guy hadn't shot anybody in the house at all in the last ten weeks. Future room-mate would surely be pleased. I decided not to

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082942435237476702004-04-25T19:20:00.000-06:002004-04-25T19:24:47.356-06:00

Saturday was a big night out. It seems that a combination of the following activities is a perfect preparation for fixing the air-conditioning on a Saab for someone who has no experience of such things. ( Maybe I have frozen off some of my fingers with 1,1,2,2-tetrafluoroethane R134 -I can't really feel much after last night. And I'm sure my compressor will lock up with sludge soon. But there was

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082832503102684082004-04-24T12:48:00.000-06:002004-04-24T12:52:33.076-06:00

"Today sucks!" said Guy. "They called me into work, and because I forgot to turn my phone off, I had to go. And then I delivered a 652 dollar order to these Young Democrats. Assholes. Know how much they tipped me? Normally it would be at least a 60 dollar tip. They tipped me nothing. Nothing. Bastards."

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082831966586448122004-04-24T12:39:00.000-06:002004-04-24T12:43:36.670-06:00

Progress at last. After ten weeks of fervent boxing training, we had a breakthrough yesterday. "Block, uppercut, hook," said Bruce, "Block, block, one, two." he added, going on to say, "You're ready for a bar brawl now." I took heart in this pronouncement. He didn't say what state my face would emerge from such a ruckus though, or whether I'd be on winning team or not. Although in war, there

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082695872828291362004-04-22T22:51:00.000-06:002004-04-22T22:55:20.623-06:00

was a phrase I learnt today. Another reason why Austin is great. I also went to the all new Waffle House. There were 14 people working behind the counter and between 7 and 12 customers. It was enlightening to find out what smothered and covered Waffle House hash browns are, having only heard them in pirate folk-lore. I also went to help a bunch of very nice people in their construction of a 30

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082600178791140662004-04-21T20:16:00.000-06:002004-04-21T20:20:25.513-06:00

For the first time in a very long while, I made a to-do list. It's probably one of the seven effective habits of highly turgid people - I'm not sure, I haven't checked. It was a bit scary at first, having a list. All of the items are things I want to do, like book plane tickets to go to interesting places, and fiddle with the Saab. But the whole list thing just makes me shudder. Without realising

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082494166153206422004-04-20T18:00:00.000-06:002004-04-20T18:32:43.436-06:00

"It's only at times like these that I find myself saying, 'Can I borrow your automatic eye pencil?'", said !Bob as we put the finishing touches to our pirate costumes. Bean gave me a headscarf, and I cunningly drew on an eye-patch in black eyeliner. When I closed my left eye, my costume was complete. My eye-patch was continuous. When I opened my left eye, I looked fairly ridiculous. After a hard

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082422457376267852004-04-19T18:54:00.000-06:002004-04-19T18:58:20.780-06:00

Dazed after a weekend of sun, rum and fun, I went to the boxing gym. I was non too alert, but Bruce is always telling me not to think when I'm training. "Don't think!" It's a motto I have been toying with and applying to many different situations lately. So, I was in a strong position to succeed.I had my weekend hangover, and impaired mental functions from the herbal painkillers I'd been given to

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082342947141156902004-04-18T20:49:00.000-06:002004-04-18T20:53:09.326-06:00

Never, never, never forget the power of drinking and shouting in the sun to make you feel better. Dressing up as a pirate and combining these activities from within a bunch of canoes is probably the most fun way of doing this without fruit and a baseball bat.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082092834487507672004-04-15T23:20:00.000-06:002004-04-15T23:24:33.076-06:00

I needed a new place to live for May and June in Austin. I advertised the fact and got a few offers. I met Sharon at the place she rented as she returned from work. She was a fine looking woman in her thirties, wearing a smart black dress. We approached the door to the place - it was a lovely large house in a quiet street, shaded by large pecan trees. Sharon announced she didn't have the key, and

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1082062885963736572004-04-15T15:01:00.000-06:002004-04-15T15:16:20.356-06:00

I've been in the States for three months, and I've seen no wrestling. I'd even missed the fact that the Big Red Machine (Kane, not a fire-engine) is now going about sans mask. With a face like this, you can see why he wore the mask. He was one of Chyna's heroes in terms of dedication. Any man, woman or goat that wrestles in a mask is my hero. Chyna is the 9th wonder of the world, a hugely

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081918819177491542004-04-13T23:00:00.000-06:002004-04-13T23:04:32.170-06:00

Easter Sunday in San Antonio. I am rejoicing after returning from Mexico with a new lease of US visa life, having not found any wives in the US yet. Before I sit on a bus to Austin for six hours, I must eat something. Perhaps I'll treat myself to a celebratory steak or a twelve pack of quails' eggs or... Oh. It's Burger King or Popeye's. I know all fast food sucks, but I'd never had a Popeye's

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081917485894634332004-04-13T22:38:00.000-06:002004-04-13T22:50:49.216-06:00

It's nice not knowing anything about a place and turning up with no preconceptions. The only preconception I had about Boys' Town was that there was a bar with few women that wasn't a brothel that sold cheap booze. I had been there the night before. And getting there would involve avoiding eye contact with a few dozen ladies of the night. A typical lady of the night looked like she had a big

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081915453799758922004-04-13T22:04:00.000-06:002004-04-13T22:52:19.513-06:00

Although I had just eaten, I stepped into a nearby restaurant and ordered some more food. I hadn't come across many English speakers in this part of town, and had previously resorted to asking for things like 'breakfast' and 'food', given the utter inadequacy of my Spanish vocabulary. But this place had an interpretter. The only problem was that I didn't know what any of the foods he mentioned

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081746766923796352004-04-11T23:12:00.000-06:002004-04-13T21:59:32.890-06:00

Nuevo Laredo was dusty and dirty. More so with the approaching thunderstorm. The wind that ushered in the dark clouds threw grit in my eyes as I walked to get some food at about ten in the evening. I put on my sunglasses as I forced my way up the streets towards the bus station. An array of unexciting eateries were waiting by the bus station, their standards based on one-off long distance

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081637711192478102004-04-10T17:09:00.000-06:002004-04-11T21:10:30.090-06:00

On arriving in Nuevo Laredo, I found the nearest hotel to the bus station, and took a look at the last remaining room on offer. It was less than 20 dollars, and had mould growing apparently unconstrained on the ceiling, and a ceiling fan, two single beds and a small television. I agreed to take the room with much shaking and nodding to the Spanish speaking owner. Michel Thomas, my Spanish tutor

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081637091839160422004-04-10T16:50:00.000-06:002004-04-10T16:50:00.263-06:00

I have to climb a mountain in June. A proper one, with ice and axes and plastic boots. I know nothing about mountain climbing, but it seemed like a good idea when Mr. Salter suggested it. It wasn´t until I had eight hours on a bus to Mexico that I started to read a book about climbing mountains. I suddenly remembered I am afraid of heights. For examlpe, I can´t get too close to the windows at the

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081490278020584832004-04-08T23:57:00.000-06:002004-04-09T00:02:22.046-06:00

Texas is.... waking up and thinking, "I'll go to Mexico tomorrow."

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081489599605451612004-04-08T23:46:00.000-06:002004-04-08T23:50:28.436-06:00

Come to Auto Zone. Your one stop shop for all your automobile headaches. In the Zone. We have spare parts in stock for all makes and models. In the Zone. We have a computer system which links to our main warehouse. We can order what's not in stock. In the Zone. Watch as our trained monkeys have to reboot the computer system. In the Zone. Watch the monkeys order a part for you using a fantabulous

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081459415334926172004-04-08T15:23:00.000-06:002004-04-08T15:27:53.390-06:00

12pm. Power Yoga with Gundega. The name Gundega always terrified me. It's the kind of name that sticks in your mind. Power. Gundega. Some eleven-armed yoga master who can levitate himself and crush the skulls of his opposition through will alone. I first saw the advert for Gundega's power yoga when I joined a nearby gym two months ago. Today, I felt run down, and was in the spa trying to

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081394344355080942004-04-07T21:19:00.000-06:002004-04-07T21:22:51.890-06:00

Anyone need a room-mate during May and June? Reasonable rates considered, have own beard and aluminium foil surplus. Oh, and it would be handy if it was in Austin.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081392160246555462004-04-07T20:42:00.000-06:002004-04-07T20:46:27.420-06:00

Style: Making four-poster beds from string and aluminium foil is no longer fashionable. Last night residents in Austin tore down their foil creations, and woke very early and confused when the sun arrived this morning. Boxing: Boxing legend Ron Malibu was spotted leaving an Austin based boxing gym with a smile on his face this afternoon. When questioned, he said that he enoyed being hit in the

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081304241274461942004-04-06T20:17:00.000-06:002004-04-06T20:21:07.390-06:00

A nice man who took photos of Fool's Soup took one of my baby. She's near the bottom - notice the missing jesus fish.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081233157186625012004-04-06T00:32:00.000-06:002004-04-06T00:36:21.966-06:00

"What we really need is a MILF theme camp. This community does have some great MILFs." "Cumquats are the new hockey-pucks. Business is the new art. Green is the new black." "Yeah, it wasn't real ego-melting kind of stuff. That's what I was after." "And the strange thing is that you can still legally buy psychedelics that haven't been scheduled yet." "Yeah, I found that out from my internet

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081208469935300632004-04-06T00:23:00.000-06:002004-04-06T00:47:05.496-06:00

What does one expect at Fool's Soup? I got one perspective from the nice lady who helped me paint my cowboy boots. "They don't like to be called 'hippies'," she told me, "I think they like 'freaks' better." Another point of view was from a stalwart of the burning community. "It's pretty psychedelic. I normally don't sleep for four days, and then catch a nap just before I have to pack up and

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1081205917067107202004-04-05T16:58:00.000-06:002004-04-05T17:02:21.060-06:00

I finally prized the jesus fish from the back of my car, as I set off to go camp with the freaks and hippies on Friday. As I headed south on I35 in the rush hour traffic, my baby got sick. In fact the whole family got sick. My car decided to overheat intermittently, the iPod started to skip, and my phone decided it wouldn't recognise its SIM card. Something was trying to stop me from getting to

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080928721627532432004-04-02T11:58:00.000-06:002004-04-02T12:02:21.983-06:00

Will my 30 dollar tent hold up to this weekend's thunderstorms? Will beer and pop-tarts be enough? Will the freaks and hippies of the Texas burners get me confused, strip me nekked and paint me blue? Was changing the gap on my spark plugs in the rum-sodden darkness last night such a good idea? All of these questions and more answered in the next edition of...

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080775320377252942004-03-31T17:22:00.000-06:002004-03-31T17:25:37.983-06:00

The house on 45th Street is two doors down from the church. This affords the residents ample parking. A large white sign on a pole announces that the church hosts a twelve step recovery programme. "How convenient," I thought when I moved in, but have been studiously otherwise engaged throughout the sessions. Apparently such meetings are a great way to meet the best alcoholics with the best

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080749241093390752004-03-31T10:07:00.000-06:002004-03-31T10:10:58.483-06:00

We went to the drive-thru bank yesterday. My baby turned heads. "Excuse me sir, is that a Saab?" "Why yes it is." "My associate thought it was a Saab. Very durable I hear." "Nineteen years old, and still going strong. I love it." I glanced at the teller's associate who blushed as she eyed up my date. I glanced in my mirror at a man in the drive-thru lane without a car. As I pulled away, my

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080631437483588322004-03-30T01:23:00.000-06:002004-03-30T01:27:32.763-06:00

Now that I've started painting after an abstinence of maybe two decades, I'm kind of in the groove again. (I don't count painting walls or fences as real painting) So maybe the cowboy boots do look kind of spiffy after a few licks of silver, purple, yellow and green. But should I convert my Saab into a Dodge Charger with the Duke's of Hazzard paint scheme?

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080630182820737282004-03-30T01:03:00.000-06:002004-03-30T01:07:28.686-06:00

Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long. So spaketh Ministry, in their song, Jesus Built My Hotrod. It's a song which talks about a love affair. I know of love and affairs of the heart. Of jaunts in spring fields, and silent smiles and shared hours in comfort. So today I cleaned the Automatic Idle Control valve of my Saab, and the throttle butterfly valve. Oh how my beauty idles now,

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080582718315493002004-03-29T11:51:00.000-06:002004-03-29T11:55:32.450-06:00

Dildo sales are prohibited in Texas. Apparently something to do with Texas Penal Code chapter 43 (public indecency) under the subchapter for obscenity.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080539750107705632004-03-28T23:55:00.000-06:002004-03-28T23:59:23.496-06:00

I have a Saab. It is a thing of beauty. I have washed it more times in the last month we've had together than all of the other cars I've had put together. It has "turbo 16 valve" written on the back. I think it still has 16 valves or maybe 15, but the turbo is more an item of ballast than at item of power boosting these days. One of the reasons I wash it so much is that the American birds find

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080537274784034912004-03-28T23:14:00.000-06:002004-03-28T23:18:08.700-06:00

The Texas Rollergirls is a league of women who skate in a circle and wear flimsy clothing and score points every few weeks in Austin. There is another league of women who skate in a circle and wear flimsy clothing every few weeks in Austin. I imagine every good sized town should have several such leagues. So that all of the women who like spending their time orbitting anti-clockwise with their

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080200173256321342004-03-25T01:36:00.000-06:002004-03-25T01:39:41.670-06:00

The strangest thing keeps happening to me. When I meet new people, I categorise them into combinations of people I already know. I guess my perception gland is wearing out, and I have gathered basic models of behaviour in my head and I associate them with people. That part is fine - just me being lazy and narrow minded. Well, it's not exactly fine, but it's better than the other thing. That is

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080199875901335642004-03-25T01:31:00.000-06:002004-03-25T01:35:09.513-06:00

The dressing gown is so passee. I am all about saying "all about" now, and also all about cowboy boots. As soon as I bought my boots, I saddled up the barbecue we found by the road and rode a steak into the crematorium with it. Wearing my boots (and shorts better to show them off), shouting at the traffic, and waving my fist at the sky. The thunder, lightning and torrential rain were all

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080113627391956032004-03-24T01:33:00.000-06:002004-03-24T01:37:14.310-06:00

Margaritas. Hard to spell, easy to swallow. Nasty's. Easy to get into, hard to leave. Purple People Eater Margaritas please. Hard to enunciate.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1080071314218532992004-03-23T13:48:00.000-06:002004-03-23T13:52:39.123-06:00

Wearing more clothes means more laundry. Laundry now includes breakdancing. It also involves driving around town during the wash-cycle looking for abandoned furniture. Yesterday we got a barbecue and a dangerously broken wooden chair. The barbecue is all about Texas. First it's an oil barrel. Second, it's the size of an oil barrow. Having seen a very large bull being dismembered by Herculean

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079818943219233372004-03-20T15:42:00.000-06:002004-03-20T15:45:45.356-06:00

"Party? Sure. Where is it?" "Do you know a good liquor store?" "There's one I use over there. It's okay." "Why is Smirnoff so cheap? How do you septics make a B52?" "Kahlua first. Then Grand Marnier. And then with the nozzle, you slowly pour in the Baileys. It'll settle between the other two layers. What part of Texas are you from?" "Well, I'm not from Austin." "I figured that. East Texas?" "

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079676324888680102004-03-19T00:05:00.000-06:002004-03-19T00:08:45.280-06:00

You can drive around late at night with your windows down, a big sky hovering above your sunroof. You can listen to 'Ride of the Valkyrie' at astonishing volumes in the clear darkness. As you hoof your Saab around the tarmac, road signs appear. A diversion is in the works. Only they aren't regular road signs, the ones that you might see in Europe. They are road signs from the 'US of A', most

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079674624032012782004-03-18T23:37:00.000-06:002004-03-18T23:41:38.030-06:00

Marco is Guy's friend. Marco has the number of pistols, shotguns, automatic rifles, machine guns and bullets that Guy would have if he had the money. I met the two lead pumpers at the rifle range today. I helped Marco carry in a box of his guns. I spent a lovely hour of charming and witty conversation with Beretta, Smith and Wesson, Glock, Remington, and the pea-shooter like sound of a silenced

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079646991199585572004-03-18T15:56:00.000-06:002004-03-18T15:59:51.216-06:00

Last night saw a leprecon - a leprechaun rampage filled the streets of Austin on St. Patrick's day. It was also a 21st birthday for Bliss. She proudly presented bouncers with her ID, and the bars would present her with free drinks to celebrate her coming of (legal) drinking age. Bliss would shortly afterwards present the pavement with multicoloured cocktails that were shaken, stirred, and

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079319611347836032004-03-14T21:00:00.000-06:002004-03-14T21:03:26.153-06:00

This kind of sums up my first month in Texas. Here's the photographic evidence.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079303864910246402004-03-14T16:37:00.000-06:002004-03-14T16:40:59.106-06:00

Guy stumbles from his room, resplendant in shorts and a straggle of chest hair. He rubs the prozac from his eyes as he weaves his way around the storage boxes in the living room. He is solely motivated to get a sugar rush the kitchen. He looks up and sees Ron covered in blood, with his clothes ripped. Ron looks like death - his clothes covered in a mix of blood and dirt, the right side of his

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079116875959222972004-03-12T12:41:00.000-06:002004-03-12T12:44:27.153-06:00

I went to some Alps in france. Here are some photos.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1079068883025257412004-03-11T23:21:00.000-06:002004-03-11T23:24:33.653-06:00

It is clearly a springboard for other things, a vehicle to get my talent noticed. Someone will need help with french pronunciation, or a star will need some cockney rhyming slang help, and I'll be catapaulted into the stratosphere. I got my first lines in the play a few weeks back, and today someone asked me to be a zombie. It's the second time in as many weeks that someone has asked me to play a

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078885087856264032004-03-09T20:18:00.000-06:002004-03-09T20:21:15.530-06:00

We were filming our movie outside all day in the blistering, bleaching, burning sun of southern Texas. It was also the day one of the stars was only three years old, and another was a dog. The dog got binned early on, but the three year old girl was integral to the story and her scenes could not be cut. Would she stand still while we reversed a car into her for the accident scene? Not even

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078700024091406272004-03-07T16:53:00.000-06:002004-03-07T17:10:48.530-06:00

Guy is an interesting room-mate. Some Americans will ask you questions about The Beatles or The Clash when discovering you are an English chap. Guy was different. The first thing he ever said to me was, "So you're from England, huh? Are you a Whitehouse fan?" Bizarrely enough, and believe me, Whitehouse are pretty bizarre, I had been to a Whitehouse gig in London once. I said as much and

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078683934363775452004-03-07T12:25:00.000-06:002004-03-07T12:28:38.750-06:00

I still speak the Queen's English despite numerous hostile bids from local dialects. Although someone thought I was Russian a few days ago, I am still getting the odd, "I like your accent." and I have not succumbed to using the word "like" in any sentence more than once. I clocked one of my room-mates at five "likes" per sentence yesterday, so I still have a long way to plummet.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078681557509406652004-03-07T11:45:00.000-06:002004-03-07T11:49:01.590-06:00

Congratulations to Britney Spears. In her latest popular music video, she has managed to transform herself. She now looks like the red-haired chick from the UK chart-trotting songstrel quintet, "Girls Aloud". The red-haired one that the video directors always cut out of camera, or hide in the background.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078680989339843492004-03-07T11:36:00.000-06:002004-03-07T16:19:57.576-06:00

The Carl Lewis 10k (without Carl Lewis) was started off with an address on the PA by Carol Lewis. Perhaps the organisers had just looked up "Lewis, C" in the phone book and bunged Carol Lewis 50 bones to show up. Adding an extra "o" to the event fliers was probably cheaper than making new fliers without Carl Lewis on them at all. As we all know, Carl Lewis retired from the event when he heard I

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078674928252182282004-03-07T09:55:00.000-06:002004-03-07T09:58:32.873-06:00

Eric: I feel awful. And I've got a 16 hour shift tomorrow. I have a major cold. Me: Hang on, I think I have some vitamin C in my bag. Eric: Is it water or fat soluble? Me: It's fat soluble, so it should help your cold. It's called "Ester C" Passing cast member 1: You've got some ecstacy? Passing cast member 2: Whose got ecstacy? With you now?

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078674736497907742004-03-07T09:52:00.000-06:002004-03-07T09:55:21.153-06:00

Me: It would be fun to come over and see how you edit the video of the play. Where do you live? Rocky: Near 51st and Rowena. Me: Is it easy to find? Rocky: Yeah, from about a block away you can see the pair of giant plastic praying mantises in my garden.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078513268125825592004-03-05T13:01:00.000-06:002004-03-05T13:06:41.360-06:00

lascivious content - my play has two nekked women and three lap-dancers, and in my film there is a whore and full frontal nudity on the rooftop scenes. Which freaks the neighbours out a bit, but not as much as the nekked actress was freaked out when a state trooper pulled up in his pig-mobile when she was flashing. Of course the state trooper was just an actor, and the car just a prop, but the

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078282084426193122004-03-02T20:48:00.000-06:002004-03-02T20:51:02.093-06:00

Think of Texas and if the first thing that springs to mind isn't Waco, George Bushes, Larry Hagman, Oil, Dell or steak, you're probably thinking of cowboys. It has taken me over three weeks in Texas to become a cowboy. Today I became a cable wrangler. One of my duties was to follow the camera crew who rode on a giant skateboard along a flattened rollercoaster track. I would hold the camera cables

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078281563877933912004-03-02T20:39:00.000-06:002004-03-02T20:42:21.653-06:00

13 hours in and out of a convenience store. That was the set for the day - helping out with filming of a local independent film. First impressions of the movie business for me were based on asking people what they did, and observing people that gave the air of being too important to be asked what they did. The director's job in production is to say, "Action!". The director can only say this when

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078120404949673602004-02-29T23:53:00.000-06:002004-02-29T23:56:32.593-06:00

Steve Goodwin wins last month's caption competition. Hurrah. New photo posted today. More fabulous prizes could be yours.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078115234087159592004-02-29T22:27:00.000-06:002004-02-29T22:30:23.686-06:00

I totally failed to attend any Santacon events last year. To make up, I am in the home of Santacon, Austin, and on Saint Patrick's day, March 17th, I fully intend to participate in the anarchy of Leprecon. Think "nothing on earth can stop the force of 200 santas" and replace "santas" with "leprechauns". Out with the red, in with the green. Badda-bing badda-bong.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078096115925428472004-02-29T17:08:00.000-06:002004-02-29T17:11:31.170-06:00

I investigated the nether regions of the 900 this afternoon. All sorts of questions were left unanswered. What is the electric motor in the boot for? Why are there two spare wheels in the boot? What is the mysterious unmarked red button for? What does the mysterious unmarked grey button do? Why won't the car start now that I've pressed both of the buttons repeatedly? Arse.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078086601518943262004-02-29T14:30:00.000-06:002004-02-29T14:42:53.200-06:00

Carl Lewis has pulled out of our 10k race in Austin next Saturday. He must have found out I was running - even though I haven't filled in a registration form for the inappropriately named "Carl Lewis 10k". I managed to run three whole kilometres yesterday - maybe he saw me on the hoof and changed his mind. Ben Johnson was faster than Lewis, but doesn't make too many appearances. Odd that.

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078082542445584012004-02-29T13:22:00.000-06:002004-02-29T13:25:17.373-06:00

So I didn't get a Lincoln Town Car. But I did buy a shiny new Saab 900 Turbo. It's not particularly new (1985), it certainly doesn't shine, and the turbo doesn't work. If someone who worked for Saab saw it, they'd probably chisel off the Saab badge. So in reality, I have a 900. No longer am I a member of the transportless dispossessed and disenfranchised underclass. I am part of the red leather

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3378373.post-1078076244667324472004-02-29T11:37:00.000-06:002004-02-29T11:40:19.356-06:00

Go to some bars. Drink. Go to the Ritz. Play pool. Play table football, and lament the American custom of using three men on the goal-keeping rod. Refuse to call it Foosball. Play air hockey, and note with drunken interest that the air hockey world championship is coming up in Vegas soon, and wonder how hard it can be to sneak seven pucks past someone's hand for 12,000 bones. Think about serving

Garrethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14077103883114827333noreply@blogger.com